1st of January means the beginning of ’No Tan Jan’. A fundraising initiative from the Warwick foundations raising money for young people suffering from skin cancer. Unfortunately melanoma is the most common form of cancer for our age group, it’s important to look after our skin!! So, lets slip slop slap and raise some money for a ver important cause. I have started a team, we are called ‘The Tomatoes’. If you would like to join our team, click the link below and when promted select our team name from the drop down bar! Remember: Fake it! Don’t Bake It!
xx Lucy
http://www.onlymelbourne.com.au/melbourne_details.php?id=28154
Friday, December 31, 2010
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Resolutions and opportunity
We will open the book. Its pages are blank. We are going to put words on them ourselves. The book is called Opportunity and its first chapter is New Year’s Day. ~Edith Lovejoy Pierce
This quote seems pretty applicable at the moment. All the possibilities of the new year means I have the opportunity to determine which path my life will take. Every year you hear about people’s new years resolutions. Lose weight. Stop Smoking. All things which I’ve rarely seen any one actually stick to. Of course I have said that I will try to be more healthy, happy and positive (as I usually do), however this year the one resulution I am determined to keep is simple. To do my best at everything I attempt and to allow my self to be proud of those attempts, despite the result or outcome.
Tomorrow is the chance to close one chapter and begin another. To put behind me 2010 and look forward to brighter and better adventures.
So here is my wish for you. I hope that each and every one of you has the opportunity to write your own book of opportunies and may 2011 bring you all the happiness, joy and success you deserve.
Happy new year! Stay Safe!
xx Lucy
This quote seems pretty applicable at the moment. All the possibilities of the new year means I have the opportunity to determine which path my life will take. Every year you hear about people’s new years resolutions. Lose weight. Stop Smoking. All things which I’ve rarely seen any one actually stick to. Of course I have said that I will try to be more healthy, happy and positive (as I usually do), however this year the one resulution I am determined to keep is simple. To do my best at everything I attempt and to allow my self to be proud of those attempts, despite the result or outcome.
Tomorrow is the chance to close one chapter and begin another. To put behind me 2010 and look forward to brighter and better adventures.
So here is my wish for you. I hope that each and every one of you has the opportunity to write your own book of opportunies and may 2011 bring you all the happiness, joy and success you deserve.
Happy new year! Stay Safe!
xx Lucy
Things for which I am thankful...
This Christmas I have been able to think about all that I am thankful for. I am thankful for being given the opportunity to step into my dream of becoming a nurse. I am thankful for being granted a scholarship which will allow me to go to uni. I am thankful for slowly learning that life is tough. Very tough. But it is worth it, every single bit of it.
I am especially thankful for my friends and family. I am thankful for everyone who has shown me that I can trust them and allowed me to become the person I am right now.
Mum and Dad have been there to support me, to show me that anything is possible. That I can do it. If I really wanted. They let me grow. Thrive. I am thankful for that. I love them more than anything in the world.
I am thankful for my siblings, my neice an my nephews.
My friend, L has always been there to talk to me, listening to me whinge, whine and bitch. But she has also been there to share some of the most amazing moments of my life. She was with me to celebrate my 18th and we spent the week being complete and utter losers. We had fun. I am thankful for that. I hope we celebrate many more birthdays together. I know I can trust her and I know that I can go to her at any time, for any reason. She is incredible.
Over the last year(ish) I have had the chance to get to know one of the most beautiful, strong and inspirational young women in the world. E has allowed me to see that for every dark day, there are so many more beautiful days that make life worth living. She allowed me to see that no matter how alone I feel, there is always someone there. I am privilaged to have been blessed with such a lovely friend. For that, I am thankful.
What are you thankful for?
xx Lucy
I am especially thankful for my friends and family. I am thankful for everyone who has shown me that I can trust them and allowed me to become the person I am right now.
Mum and Dad have been there to support me, to show me that anything is possible. That I can do it. If I really wanted. They let me grow. Thrive. I am thankful for that. I love them more than anything in the world.
I am thankful for my siblings, my neice an my nephews.
My friend, L has always been there to talk to me, listening to me whinge, whine and bitch. But she has also been there to share some of the most amazing moments of my life. She was with me to celebrate my 18th and we spent the week being complete and utter losers. We had fun. I am thankful for that. I hope we celebrate many more birthdays together. I know I can trust her and I know that I can go to her at any time, for any reason. She is incredible.
Over the last year(ish) I have had the chance to get to know one of the most beautiful, strong and inspirational young women in the world. E has allowed me to see that for every dark day, there are so many more beautiful days that make life worth living. She allowed me to see that no matter how alone I feel, there is always someone there. I am privilaged to have been blessed with such a lovely friend. For that, I am thankful.
What are you thankful for?
xx Lucy
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Growing Up!
This past few weeks I have had plenty of time to think about everything. Especially about how fast everything seems to be happening. I have finished my traineeship and enrolled into university. I am officially an AIN. I am qualified to work in a nursing home/aged care facility. I am qualified to be responsible for other peoples lives. All this responsibility and maturity seems to come at once. I often miss being a kid. I remember when I was about 7 or 8, I couldn’t wait to be 18. I wanted to be 18 more than anything in the world. What on earth was I thinking? I wish now that the world would stop for a little while. Just to give me a chance to catch up and get my head around everything that is happening. To register the fact that I am NOT a kid anymore. Christmas came and went in a blur. The new year is approaching faster than I would like. Can’t everything just SLOW DOWN? I feel suffocated. I’m scared. I’m scared of living away from Mum next year. I’m scared of fucking everything up. Of failing my course. Of losing my scholarship. Of not being able to afford rent. Or food. I’m scared of becoming so weighed down with university and work, so weighed down with surviving that I forget to live. Forget to enjoy being 18.19.20… I don’t want to spend my life worried about surviving, that when I’m 80 I regret not doing something.
The last 2 weeks haven’t been exactly enjoyable. Nothing seemed to be going how I wanted it, and I couldn’t see any possible way that university would even be possible. However on Christmas eve a letter came in the mail saying that my application for a scholarship from the RCNA was successful. I was awarded with $30 000 to pay for university expenses. It was the best Christmas present and biggest blessing ever. I had no idea how I was supposed to pay for uni and live in/near the city as well. The scholarship pretty much pays for my course. Now all I need to worry about is living. And being responsible for myself. That’s the scary part. I have to learn to look out for myself. Shit! But it’s going to be okay!
Before this however I am determined to make my way to Sydney to spend time with a friend, E. I think after finally finishing year 12 and my traineeship, I deserve a little holiday right? Before I have to be a big girl? Haha
With the new year just around the corner I have been thinking a lot about everything that has happened in the last 12 months. It has definately been an incredibly challenging time. I pray, however, that with the right choices and fate on my side that 2011 will be a much easier, happier and generally enjoyable year.
So I hope that everyone had a lovely Christmas and wish each of you all the best for the new year!
xx Lucy
The last 2 weeks haven’t been exactly enjoyable. Nothing seemed to be going how I wanted it, and I couldn’t see any possible way that university would even be possible. However on Christmas eve a letter came in the mail saying that my application for a scholarship from the RCNA was successful. I was awarded with $30 000 to pay for university expenses. It was the best Christmas present and biggest blessing ever. I had no idea how I was supposed to pay for uni and live in/near the city as well. The scholarship pretty much pays for my course. Now all I need to worry about is living. And being responsible for myself. That’s the scary part. I have to learn to look out for myself. Shit! But it’s going to be okay!
Before this however I am determined to make my way to Sydney to spend time with a friend, E. I think after finally finishing year 12 and my traineeship, I deserve a little holiday right? Before I have to be a big girl? Haha
With the new year just around the corner I have been thinking a lot about everything that has happened in the last 12 months. It has definately been an incredibly challenging time. I pray, however, that with the right choices and fate on my side that 2011 will be a much easier, happier and generally enjoyable year.
So I hope that everyone had a lovely Christmas and wish each of you all the best for the new year!
xx Lucy
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Hope. Belief. Naive??
We got our HSC results today. I did particularly well considering my usual reaction to exams throughout school was to run and hide. If I didn’t try, I wouldn’t get disappointed when, no matter how hard I tried, I was never good enough (story of my life, ehh?). There was always someone, one person in particular, who LOVED reminding me that she’d done better. So I stopped caring. “Why bother, she’s only going to rub it in anyway. Might as well know I’m going to fail than try hard and have her rub it in?” So when it came to my HSC and the constant “You need to really work hard for this or you’ll let your class down” started to piss me off, I worked, and worked, and worked. I was going to show them I wasn’t a complete failure. That if I wanted to. I. Could. Do. It! I went into those exams absolutely terrified that I wouldn’t be able to answer anything and let my self down once again. So, It was a pleasant surprise to get my results this morning and to see that I had passed. Not only passed but done reasonably well. Although it did take me all day to come to this conclusion, my first reaction was “Meh, could’ve done better.”
The HSC though, is the least of my worries. Ultimately it wouldn’t have mattered if I hadn’t passed, seeing as I had enrolled into uni on Monday and have already picked my subjects. (I guess I just needed that little confidence boost to let myself know that I need to stop putting so much pressure on my self and stop setting such high expectations. We can’t all be perfect, can we?? ) I have ‘big girl’ things to worry about now. Finding a house, a car, getting my licence, finding a job and figuring out how to survive next year. My head has been a constant battle field of questions for the last few weeks. “Where am I supposed to live? I’m too stubborn to live with a stranger, how the f*** am I supposed to afford rent, food, petrol and whatever other expenses that may present. I don’t even have a job”… “I don’t have my licence, let alone a car. There’s no way I can get to work and uni with no car.” All of these questions / worries were thrown at me all at once. It was almost too good to be true when within days I had been told by a colleague that she had a studio apartment she may want to rent out next year, my host employer from my traineeship offered me a job and my brother comes across a fantastic car for sale. I was thinking “You beauty! Everything is falling into place, this will all be fine.” Of course not you idiot! 1. You didn’t think to get that ladies contact details did you? 2. The job is half an hour away from where you want to live, you havn’t got a car yet. 3. You. Have. No. Money! A loan seems impossible. Who would lend $6000+ to a student, with no financial security?
Nothing is ever simple. Nothing ever will be simple. Especially for me. Nothing has ever been easily sorted for me. Why would the universe decide to work in my favour now?
On another note, I returned to the medical ward today to discover the palliated patient I have been talking about was no longer there. I walked into the ward as usual, put my bag in the lockers as usual and, as usual, walked straight to her room. It was empty.
I didn’t ask about her, I didn’t want to. Before I finished my last shift she was considering going back to her sisters house. I am happy to continue thinking that she is there where she is comfortable and surrounded by family. I am happy to remain naive and believe this. Wether or not it is true, I pray her final days are comfortable and as pleasant as possible. She is a remarkable young lady and I will never forget her beautiful attitude and personality. It is unfortunate however, particularly on the medical ward, that you gain a connection with the patients, even if you don’t want to, and 9 times out of 10 you don’t often hear of them after they are discharged. You don’t get to find out if they got better or wether they passed on. You don’t get to hear of how they are going if they had been transferred to a nursing home. It’s kind of like watching a television show, getting interested in the story line to have it say “to be continued” and then missing the next episode. You meet a patient, You learn their medical history and throughout their care you learn about their life. You become their friend, sometimes a confidante. You sympathise and empathise with them. You comfort them. You form a bond and when they leave the medical ward all of that is lost. Sometimes it is sad. Sometimes this allows you to find comfort in possibilities that they are safe, peaceful and hopefully well.
I don’t expect anything of interest to happen in my life between now and Christmas so probably wont post again for a while, So I wish you all a safe and happy Christmas and may the new year bring you all the happiness and safety that you deserve! xxx
The HSC though, is the least of my worries. Ultimately it wouldn’t have mattered if I hadn’t passed, seeing as I had enrolled into uni on Monday and have already picked my subjects. (I guess I just needed that little confidence boost to let myself know that I need to stop putting so much pressure on my self and stop setting such high expectations. We can’t all be perfect, can we?? ) I have ‘big girl’ things to worry about now. Finding a house, a car, getting my licence, finding a job and figuring out how to survive next year. My head has been a constant battle field of questions for the last few weeks. “Where am I supposed to live? I’m too stubborn to live with a stranger, how the f*** am I supposed to afford rent, food, petrol and whatever other expenses that may present. I don’t even have a job”… “I don’t have my licence, let alone a car. There’s no way I can get to work and uni with no car.” All of these questions / worries were thrown at me all at once. It was almost too good to be true when within days I had been told by a colleague that she had a studio apartment she may want to rent out next year, my host employer from my traineeship offered me a job and my brother comes across a fantastic car for sale. I was thinking “You beauty! Everything is falling into place, this will all be fine.” Of course not you idiot! 1. You didn’t think to get that ladies contact details did you? 2. The job is half an hour away from where you want to live, you havn’t got a car yet. 3. You. Have. No. Money! A loan seems impossible. Who would lend $6000+ to a student, with no financial security?
Nothing is ever simple. Nothing ever will be simple. Especially for me. Nothing has ever been easily sorted for me. Why would the universe decide to work in my favour now?
On another note, I returned to the medical ward today to discover the palliated patient I have been talking about was no longer there. I walked into the ward as usual, put my bag in the lockers as usual and, as usual, walked straight to her room. It was empty.
I didn’t ask about her, I didn’t want to. Before I finished my last shift she was considering going back to her sisters house. I am happy to continue thinking that she is there where she is comfortable and surrounded by family. I am happy to remain naive and believe this. Wether or not it is true, I pray her final days are comfortable and as pleasant as possible. She is a remarkable young lady and I will never forget her beautiful attitude and personality. It is unfortunate however, particularly on the medical ward, that you gain a connection with the patients, even if you don’t want to, and 9 times out of 10 you don’t often hear of them after they are discharged. You don’t get to find out if they got better or wether they passed on. You don’t get to hear of how they are going if they had been transferred to a nursing home. It’s kind of like watching a television show, getting interested in the story line to have it say “to be continued” and then missing the next episode. You meet a patient, You learn their medical history and throughout their care you learn about their life. You become their friend, sometimes a confidante. You sympathise and empathise with them. You comfort them. You form a bond and when they leave the medical ward all of that is lost. Sometimes it is sad. Sometimes this allows you to find comfort in possibilities that they are safe, peaceful and hopefully well.
I don’t expect anything of interest to happen in my life between now and Christmas so probably wont post again for a while, So I wish you all a safe and happy Christmas and may the new year bring you all the happiness and safety that you deserve! xxx
Saturday, December 4, 2010
Time is precious
I highly doubt that I am the only one who will put their hands up and say that 2010 has not been the best year. There has been tragedy and sorrow, tears and prayers for tomorrow. Prayers that one day all the heartache will end!
Surely, though, there has been some good times in the past 340-something days for each of us? I know there was for me, and the last couple of days working in the hospital have made me realise that I need to see the positive in all the darkness and accept that we pave our own path. Therefore we are capable of determining wether that path leads to happiness or not. This may mean we need to make difficult decisions and that we have to dig up all our efforts and change direction but if this means we pave the way to the best possible future, so be it.
The beautiful and inspiring palliative care patient I spoke about in my previous post will never cease to amaze me. A conversation I had with her yesterday is the one in which lead to my realisation that we truly are lucky to have our life, health and family. I went in for a chat like I promised her I would, this conversation followed and had me taking my break early and almost in tears.
Gemma* – “I am hoping to go home with my sister, but if the time comes and I go to sleep her, I am glad that I have such beautiful people like you and the rest of the nurses around me to make the process easier!”
Me – “If I could be half as brave as you when my time comes I would be so proud of myself”
G – “Despite the tears?”
M – “Of course!”
G – “Well, I realise that I have had my turn in life, I have had a beautiful life with beautiful family, and I know that there a bigger adventures waiting for me somewhere else. The only thing I am sad about is that I wont be around to be a part of my family’s future.”
So, honestly, Can we all say that even though that it has been a rough year for some, that there has not been some moments throughout that make you glad to be alive? For me, I was able to have my family watch me finish school which, despite my school years not being as joyful as they should, the past two years and this year especially allowed me to develop my love of nursing, and had it not been for a few incredibly special people I would not be ready to head of to university and begin my career. I think we should all take a moment to reflect on the good, the bad, and appreciate all that we have. For we never know when our time is up.
Surely, though, there has been some good times in the past 340-something days for each of us? I know there was for me, and the last couple of days working in the hospital have made me realise that I need to see the positive in all the darkness and accept that we pave our own path. Therefore we are capable of determining wether that path leads to happiness or not. This may mean we need to make difficult decisions and that we have to dig up all our efforts and change direction but if this means we pave the way to the best possible future, so be it.
The beautiful and inspiring palliative care patient I spoke about in my previous post will never cease to amaze me. A conversation I had with her yesterday is the one in which lead to my realisation that we truly are lucky to have our life, health and family. I went in for a chat like I promised her I would, this conversation followed and had me taking my break early and almost in tears.
Gemma* – “I am hoping to go home with my sister, but if the time comes and I go to sleep her, I am glad that I have such beautiful people like you and the rest of the nurses around me to make the process easier!”
Me – “If I could be half as brave as you when my time comes I would be so proud of myself”
G – “Despite the tears?”
M – “Of course!”
G – “Well, I realise that I have had my turn in life, I have had a beautiful life with beautiful family, and I know that there a bigger adventures waiting for me somewhere else. The only thing I am sad about is that I wont be around to be a part of my family’s future.”
So, honestly, Can we all say that even though that it has been a rough year for some, that there has not been some moments throughout that make you glad to be alive? For me, I was able to have my family watch me finish school which, despite my school years not being as joyful as they should, the past two years and this year especially allowed me to develop my love of nursing, and had it not been for a few incredibly special people I would not be ready to head of to university and begin my career. I think we should all take a moment to reflect on the good, the bad, and appreciate all that we have. For we never know when our time is up.
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
So. Many. Emotions!
At the end of a shift on the medical ward I am so emotionally drained and exhausted, I feel that I cannot possibly be able to sort through the emotional turmoil that is aged care. Today for example I was faced with the distress and frustration of a lady who couldn’t understand why she wasn’t allowed to go home. She literally spent close to 2 hours begging her son and granddaughter to take her home.
”Mum, you know you can’t get into our car. We can’t possibly look after you on our own! Please wait until tomorrow to see the doctor?”
“But you have to try! I don’t want to see any more doctors, there is nothing wrong with me! I just want to go home!”
She had this look in her eyes that broke my heart. She was so pleading and so desperate. All she wanted was to go home. Simple as that, according to her. If only it were so simple.
There was the sorrow and sympathy that comes with working with a family of a palliated patient. Simple sentences sent me reeling in shock. “I’m not scared of dying. I’m scared of what happens between now and the day I die.” Stunned, I spent the next 6 or so hours of my shift trying to fathom the tiniest ounce of understanding for what she was going though. We have studied Kubler-Ross’s 5 stages of grieving at tafe. Denial, anger, depression, bargaining and acceptance, but none of this knowledge allowed me any insight into what a completely cognitive, physically able patient must have going through their head as they lie in a hospital attached to a morphine pump, literally waiting to die.
Shock. Sympathy. Grief. Grief as a nurse. Grief that there is nothing we can do. Grief that this incredible woman has to face such an awful outcome. Grief for her family who welcome me so warmly. Asking my name, and when I am working next so that they can keep an eye out for me to have a chat.
However, there are positive emotions as well. Sharing the joy as a patient you have helped get better is allowed to go home. Helping them pack their things, checking every last nook and cranny making sure they have everything they came with. Laughing with them, sharing their joy and the heartwarming goodbyes that almost make you sad to see them go.
I come across so many emotions within an 8 hour shift that I spend the next 4 hours processing everything that happened. I know that it isn’t healthy to “bring your work home with you” as such, however it is completely impossible to encounter such grief, heartache and joy so personally and all at once and simply leave it behind when you walk out that door at the end of a shift.
”Mum, you know you can’t get into our car. We can’t possibly look after you on our own! Please wait until tomorrow to see the doctor?”
“But you have to try! I don’t want to see any more doctors, there is nothing wrong with me! I just want to go home!”
She had this look in her eyes that broke my heart. She was so pleading and so desperate. All she wanted was to go home. Simple as that, according to her. If only it were so simple.
There was the sorrow and sympathy that comes with working with a family of a palliated patient. Simple sentences sent me reeling in shock. “I’m not scared of dying. I’m scared of what happens between now and the day I die.” Stunned, I spent the next 6 or so hours of my shift trying to fathom the tiniest ounce of understanding for what she was going though. We have studied Kubler-Ross’s 5 stages of grieving at tafe. Denial, anger, depression, bargaining and acceptance, but none of this knowledge allowed me any insight into what a completely cognitive, physically able patient must have going through their head as they lie in a hospital attached to a morphine pump, literally waiting to die.
Shock. Sympathy. Grief. Grief as a nurse. Grief that there is nothing we can do. Grief that this incredible woman has to face such an awful outcome. Grief for her family who welcome me so warmly. Asking my name, and when I am working next so that they can keep an eye out for me to have a chat.
However, there are positive emotions as well. Sharing the joy as a patient you have helped get better is allowed to go home. Helping them pack their things, checking every last nook and cranny making sure they have everything they came with. Laughing with them, sharing their joy and the heartwarming goodbyes that almost make you sad to see them go.
I come across so many emotions within an 8 hour shift that I spend the next 4 hours processing everything that happened. I know that it isn’t healthy to “bring your work home with you” as such, however it is completely impossible to encounter such grief, heartache and joy so personally and all at once and simply leave it behind when you walk out that door at the end of a shift.
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